martyrs and thieves

well ive never been much for the baring of souls in the presence of any man, id rather keep to myself all safe and secure in the arms of a sinner i am, could it be that my words should depend by the crimson stained grace on a hand, and like a lamp on a hill lord i pray in your will to reveal all of you that i can. so turn on the light and reveal all the glory i am not afraid, to bare all my weakness knowing in meakness that i have a kingdom to gain, well there is peace and love in the light, oh i am not afraid to let your light shine bright in my life

well there are ghosts from my past that own more of my soul than i thought i had given away, they linger in closets and under my bed and in pictures less proudly displayed, a great fool in my life i have been have squandered til palid and thin, hold my head in shame and refuse to take blame for the darkness i know ive let win. so turn on the light and reveal all the glory i am not afraid, to bare all my weakness knowing in meakness that i have a kingdom to gain, well there is peace and love in the light, oh i am not afraid to let your light shine bright in my life

$2 bible

i had dinner tonight with a friend and told her all about my $2 bible. i started going to church in high school. no one ever told me that i had a choice for or against jesus. they just "did" church like mainstream america. in 2 years of going to hang out with everyone on sunday nights, no one said anything. so when someone finally did i decided not to take their word for it.. or even take a pastors word because he carried the title. i went to a half price book store and bought my used $2 bible. not to go into more details of that..

why do we go with the flow? why do we do what everyone else is doing? its easy.. we dont want to stick out.. we want to be accepted... we want to be loved! jesus was hated when he lived on earth, he was kicked out of places and cities, he was made fun of for being different and beaten for going against the flow. whether you believe he was/is god or not... that one man changed the world forever !

oprah

i cant believe i'm saying it but i just shed a half tear while watching oprah on letterman tonight. mainly because of all the pain in the world. she said it best when she said its not that we're not doing enough. its that we sit back and enjoy our cappucino's and let world hunger and aids continue with out doing anything. and its true! what are we each doing to save our world? human beings are dying becuase we cant help support or even better, go help overseas.. much less locally! when was the last time you did anything to help anyone? are you showing christs love?

i'm reading a great book right now called "Revolution." the basic idea is dont label yourself a revolutionary but be one by doing things agains the grain. do what is right when no one else is. love god at all costs. stand up for those who dont have a voice of their own!!! BE a revolutionary. Jesus was.

why me

so as i've come to another crossroads with god in asking "why me?" how come the last 2 relationships i have had have ended in the girl dating a "good" friend of mine. am i just "that guy" now? i think i could care less as long as the guy would approach me as a true friend and tell me whats going on. does that mean my friends dont believe in loyalty? or does that mean that i'm not making the right friends? only god knows. buy what does he want me to learn from all of this is really the true question? well....? god are you there...? i know you are but in our deepest valleys are the times we cry out the most for you and your comfort. i dont think i'm in that deep of a valley right now. i just mis our closeness. i almost feel like i'm on a different mountain all together and wish i could be in the valley to at least know i am being watched by you. take me to places that i've never even dreamed i could go. mold me make me to be like you!

the things i think about

"so i was walking again thinking about the things i think about and trying to make sense of it all." just a good quote from a guy i know with dread locks.